(no subject)

[heptadecagram]

I like people. I like kids.

I've known since I was in high school that I wanted to raise kids. Not even necessarily my own, but just children in general. This is part of why I so want to be a teacher, because I want to be a positive influence at an important part of people's lives. Everyone gets to be a kid, not all of them get a chance to make it to being adults.

Since I'm feeling my age a lot more over the past three¹ years, I've been thinking more and more about having children. And I realize that most of the people I know are not interested in having children. A quick scan of my friends-list shows only 10% of them to be parents. As a curiousity, I attached a poll to this entry to see what you all think of offspring.

Unfortunately, becoming a teacher at this point in my life is a three-year prospect of getting new degree. I can't be fasttracked due to my poor college grades, and I can't afford that time and cost investment right now. So I feel like the fastest way to be raising kids is to either have them myself, or find myself attracted to someone who already has them. And I'd enjoy the process.

In fact, something I really enjoyed about dating vanuslux and wyspurr and mystic_spectrum was that I got to help with their kids. I like teaching, and offspring are often insanely eager to learn things. So I do know that I do like actual kids, and that this is not just a mental exercise.

¹: Actually, I've been feeling old since I turned eleven and stopped having birthday parties. I'm surprised I've lived this long (I'm 25 now) without dying. Three years is a useful metric since that's when I moved. But, I had been feeling it back in my sophmore year of college, and back in my junior year of high school, and....

[Poll #468076]

Comments

[victoriana.livejournal.com]

Hehheh...that's what my parents said. "Never let 'em outnumber you."

[mrstickman.livejournal.com]

Does being gay count as a "permanent step?" 'Cos that's how I counted it....

[heptadecagram.livejournal.com]

I suppose you could, but you can adopt, and your sperm is still full of active squiggly bits that can be used by a willing egg doner. I'd count you as non-permanent, I think, unless you were pair-bonded exclusively in a long-term relationship.

[mrstickman.livejournal.com]

Fair enough, but I'm very much set on not having kids. I think there's exactly one circumstance where I'd adopt, and it's pretty extreme.

[heptadecagram.livejournal.com]

When on Kids Adopxion Xtreme, coming soon to Fox?

[xalolo.livejournal.com]

Teaching's a noble(and difficult) path to choose, whether in the official capacity in a school, or the more general role of parenting/etc. There are some programs that let you teach while acquiring your degree--I know for instance Boston Public has a program that mirrors medical residency. Maybe there's something like that nearby you?

And, your poll lacks the important option "I've got 'em! How much are you offering?"

[cchan8.livejournal.com]

maybe you should consider applying for the JET program. You don't need a teaching degree.

Lotsa thoughts, some relevant

[mommyrex.livejournal.com]

I've been thinking about the kids thing a lot lately. My plan was pretty firm over the past few years, that four was the number I wanted. [The giant wants as many as he can get.] Well, 3 kids into it, I find myself reluctant to have # 4. I've started the decision process over. Do I want to have any (more) kids at this point? Would I have any right now, knowing what I know about the risk/reward profile that comes with each attempt? I really don't know. I still think 4 makes for better sibling dynamics than 3, but a sane mom is pretty crucial.

I remember the first time I met you and you talked about where you had "come from", I SO envied the idea of having 3 other people to raise kids with. I think I'd agree with your friend vanuslux about the goodness of the number of kids being < or = the number of adults in a household.

Good luck!

[wyspurr.livejournal.com]

aw, thanks luv.
i think you'd make a good daddy...or mommy...or both.
teaching is very different from having kids. having kids is 24/7. there is no detatchment involved...you can't go home at the end of the day. you get no sleep.
but definately worth it all.
it frustrates me how people in our age group, and mental level, don't want to have kids. the people with the most knowledge, best genes, and most to teach...don't want to contribute to the gene pool. only the stupid people are having kids...not that genius can't come from that...but i think our side needs some supporters too.

[subbes]

Where's the option for "I am infertile"?

[heptadecagram.livejournal.com]

I was trying to make the poll more along the lines of "what would you like" than "what you are able to do". But I didn't make that clear enough in its wording, unfortunately.

[silverdust-wolf.livejournal.com]

Too young to really have kids, but I'm destined for twin boys. I like children, and one day I do want to have kids and raise a family. That's kind of odd coming from a 19 year-old girl, but still I don't want kids any time soon, but eventually I do....Your only 28? *blink blink and pokes*

[selki.livejournal.com]

What about volunteering for a part-time mentor program a la Big Brother (is that what it's called? The friendly program, not Our Beloved Rulers). Some of them even have learn-computing-skills programs.

[ancientsong.livejournal.com]

This is a great idea. In fact, grimclown is thinking of doing the same thing.

Greenbelt CARES (a terrific organization - look 'em up if you like) is always on the lookout for math and english tutors and big brother/big sister type of stuff.

Hopefully

[smitty1e.livejournal.com]

My wife and I have some medical concerns to respect, and we may well pursue adoption. Vainly, I want to pass on my own heritage, but I think that adoption is a noble option.
In the meantime, I sort of mentor a 19 year old going on 12. There are plenty of positive ways to flex that paternal instinct.
I applaud your interest in teaching. I taught a couple of semesters of undergrads an introductory course in information systems. While I love working with (interested) students, all of the administrivia of composing tests and grading really sucked the sunshine out of the whole experience.
Best,
Chris

[isolde-deely.livejournal.com]

I think you would make a decent parent. I am unsure whether I would, to be honest. My dad is a teacher, and agrees we need more. Especially guys :)

[ancientsong.livejournal.com]

Teaching definitely has its up sides and its down sides. Have you spoken with teachers you know a la infogirl? There is much administrative crap and politicking as well as the actual teaching of children.

Also, often, private schools and Montessori schools don't even require a teaching certificate. You might have to take a few classes (college-level) and get terrific grades to show that you can do that, but I don't see why it would be a huge problem to get a job at one of those.

[uilos.livejournal.com]

If they don't speak coherent English, I have no idea what to do with them. Honest, I do like kids. I just have no idea how to react to them. This applies to cousins, friend's children, total strangers on the street, so I don't feel like my opinion would be any different with children of my own. And the whole pregnancy process scares the shit out of me. So my answer would be no.

[victoriana.livejournal.com]

I don't ever want kids--I can't imagine anything that would make me change my decision to be childfree.
Part of it is just that I'm wicked selfish. I like being able to go where I want and do what I want without having to worry about the care or entertainment of other people. (I mean, sure, there's the partner, but he or she can handle his or her own entertainment and care.) I don't even want a -puppy- because I don't like anything waking me up in the middle of the night for anything other than sex. And it had better be -good- sex, too, or I'd rather be sleeping.
Then there's the fact that while I like children who are well-behaved and don't just go putting their gooey little hands in everything, ill-behaved children drive me -bonkers-. I don't know if I'd be able to raise good ones or not. Which brings me to another thing--I've -never- met a kid I'd want to spend 24 hours a day with. Generally, I like them best when I can send them home to their parents.
Last, but not least...I know how badly my mum screwed me up, in some ways. While she's a great person and I love her very much, and love the time I spend with her...when I was a kid, it was really, really rough. I don't really think people prone to major bouts of depression should be raising children. I can speak from personal experience that it is -terrifying- when you're a little kid and your mum's not stable. I've been diagnosed bipolar, and I think it would be best if I -didn't- raise kids. While I don't think I'm a bad person, I still don't think anyone should necessarily turn out like me.

[victoriana.livejournal.com]

Oh yeah, and the thought of pregnancy, labor, and delivery sounds -horrible-. I don't want to get fat, throw up every day for nine months like Mum did, or develop a case of hemmorhoids. No, thank you, I'll pass.